David Dewhurst

Your Holiday Movie Previews! (With a Few Twists)

As we approach the end of the year, Hollywood is poised to release several blockbusters featuring household names in starring roles. While you may be familiar with the movie titles, you might not be familiar with the plots. So, below is a brief synopsis of three prominent upcoming films: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - Katniss Everdeen, an obscure woman representing her district (brilliantly performed by newcomer Wendy Davis) rises to become a household name almost overnight. She ignites a firestorm when she dares to defy the Capitol's heavy-handed cabal (portrayed by the lusciously malevolent David Dewhurst and the Texas Legislature), who ruthlessly suppress any opposition as their authoritarian power structure begins to crumble.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - Bilbo Baggins, a diminutive Hobbit (portrayed by the small in stature but large in spirit Robert Reich) attempts to cajole and inspire a bumbling gang of infighting dwarves (the Democratic Party), in a quest to reclaim their lost homeland. Bilbo is in possession of a dangerous yet powerful ring (a.k.a. Truth-Telling) and leads an effort to save Middle Earth (the Middle Class) from its impending demise by facing down Orcs (the Republican Party) and, in this sequel, the dragon Smaug (voiced by Ted Cruz), which Tolkein described as "a most specially greedy, strong and wicked worm."

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues - A narcissistic, misogynistic anchorman stuck in the 1970's (played flawlessly by Bill O'Reilly) gains a vast national audience on a cable news network, where with the help of his cohorts (played by Sean Hannity, Chris Wallace, Karl Rove and a host of over-the-top character actors), he makes a mockery of journalism and distracts the public from honest debate with news that is anything but fair and balanced.